The first thing I want to state in this blog is that I’m of the Catholic faith. So, if you feel like people of religious values can’t stand up in the fight for the LGBTQ community to have equality with all other peoples in this nation (and hopefully many others) then you’ve hit the wrong place my friend.
I’m a birth-control-believin’, beer during football games, proud owner of a vagina that doesn’t want to go back to the 1950s, who will give money to Planned Parenthood regardless if it’s going to abortions or teaching seventh graders about their bodies (since some mothers don’t get around to that sort of thing and every female deserves to have answers) who occasionally shaves her legs and is all for Gay Equality and Marriage Rights. So, that all being said, my views on this topic are completely my own opinions. If you choose to believe something else you can a. go preach that elsewhere, b. stop reading this blog and back away from the comment box with your ignorant ranting, or c. read and try to learn something and open your mind to new opportunities.
Today just so happens to be The Day of Silence to bring attention to the LGBTQ community. I think using L for the meaning of Love is the perfect way to explain my stance on Equality. I don’t think our discussion of gay marriage has anything to do with holding true to the sanctity of marriage or has anything to do with The Bible. Being well-informed as a college graduate – and actually taking a class called “Sodomy in Reformation Germany,” I’m pretty sure I can say with all truth and faithfulness that people have been open about sexuality for most of the history of the world. It’s this post-industrial period that we all got a little shaky on it. Men have been having sex with other men (I can’t say the same for women because women had virtually no rights up until the recent century) for years and years and years and years. We read about it in Greek mythology, we read about it in history books, we read about it from our own father’s fathers. This isn’t a new thing, where all of a sudden the 20th century has fell upon us and the closet has been opened for homosexual men to just walk out of their dark Harry-Potter-closet-under-the-stairs-hiding and announce to the world that they find other men unbelievably sexy. It’s a Disney Tale as Old as Time. (And it is only a matter of time until Disney makes a gay movie, it took this long for them to have a black princess, so it won’t be in my lifetime most likely, but it WILL be acceptable one day).
My brother always explained being homosexual, or heterosexual in a way that I believe is true. Instead of being labeled one way or another or having to “out” yourself as a man who likes men…he says it’s a spectrum. Men can like men, and like women. They can like men sometimes and women other times. They can have sexual yearnings for both men and woman, but marry a woman, have a life together with many glorious children and grow old. Or they can marry a man with the same end result. It’s a spectrum, that’s why the options are also open for “Questioning, Bisexuality and Transgender.” Because you can’t always fit in some sort of mold.
So, if you’re reading this and you’re offended by my views for Gay Eqaulity (again this arguement isn’t about marriage, it’s about everyone having the same rights to love. Women have the rights to abort their children without any reason of cause, and most States have the right to inject poison in death row victims, and women and men have the right to announce their love from the roof tops, walk through public places, holding hands without being stared down or receiving head shakes, probably never hearing the occasionally ignorant comment. At least it’s finally almost acceptable for mixing of races in couples, because damnit-all if mixed children aren’t the most beautiful and exotic creatures.
I recently told one of my best guy friends (who is questioning … well not really I guess, he knows that he’s attracted to both women and men) that I would most certainly have his child, or carry his child if he wanted to have children with another man, because that baby would be beautiful and would be raised by two people who love it. And isn’t that what we all want? Children raised in loving and caring homes (see: Modern Family for leading by example). Or children who are able to admit who they are before anyone, willing to listen or not? Or the freedom of a choice? Isn’t that what America’s foundation has been based on since the beginning? We’ve had freedom to choose whether we carry weapons, freedom to choose whether we want a Stiffy Republican President or a Dope-Smokin’ Left Wing President (jab, jab!)…so why is it that when it comes to love…something so basic in the human psyche, something in our nature, we can’t let everyone share it equally? We can’t accept that love may come in all forms, inside and outside the cardboard box. We just sit here and stew in our own ignorance and vote for Prop 8, or vote to not let a man be in the hospital room while the man he has loved his entire life is dying. That man, without the right to marry, would either be sitting in the waiting room, clutching at any straws of hope from God, or staring inside the windows of his lover’s room, leaving tear stains and hot breath on the glass, because he wasn’t allowed inside. He wasn’t allowed to hold that hand, struggling to hold onto life. He wasn’t allowed to wipe the tears and sweat from his partners face, rub his feet, read him a poetry book from the corner or even just get in that white, starched bed and cuddle up next to the love of his life. Is this what freedom is? Is that what fairness is? (I know, life isn’t fair, but it could be, if people just took the time to think about other’s feelings).
Gay people, any people should be able to get married to whomever and whatever they like. Once on the Tyra Banks show I saw a woman who was truly in love with her hair dryer; she slept with the hair dryer, brushed its’ smooth plastic edge to help it sleep, rubbed its’ handle, carried it around with her all day and planned dates for the two of them. If that’s what she loved and that’s what made her happy, let the girl love her hair dryer. Or at least give her the choice. If men have the right to choose to be soldiers, and women have the right to choose when and if they want to have children, then people of any color, orientation or … GENDER should be able to get a damn marriage license.
So, here’s what I have to say about love, after my twenty-three years.
Love is illogical, it doesn’t do what you want it too. You could have dreams of marrying some Gaston-like-creature (I’ve already made one Beauty and the Beast reference, might as well keep it going), who is smart and loves to read, and loves when your cat sleeps in the middle of his legs, right against his ass cheeks and he could be perfect, but then you meet this really intelligent car mechanic, who makes you laugh and points out the spinach in your teeth and doesn’t really like your cat because he’s allergic and his eyes puff up, much like Will Smith in Hitch, but he’ll feed it in the morning when he sleeps over and your mom approves and you could see him shaggy, groggy, sick with a cold and he’d still look handsome to you and you marry him and Gaston goes out the window.
And sometimes you can love someone to the point of obsessive, hide-in-your-house, but you obviously shouldn’t be in a relationship with them.
And sometimes, you fall for things that you didn’t think you would. Like you have a vagina and for some reason that beautiful brunette in your Spanish class who can’t speak a word of any foreign language without her Southern Accent swaying through, looks perfect to you. And you want to hold her hand. And you want to write great epic novels of your love story that are greater than The Notebook or Romeo and Juliet or The Princess Bride..I could go on, but you’ve got the point.
Because LOVE is LOVE for fuck sake.
The following movie preview is for a new documentary called Embodiment: A Portrait of Queer Life in America. It is the first web-based documentary to explore the LGBTQ community. It highlights the nation as something that is united in the struggle of the LGBTQ community because it highlights both rural and urban folks who are documenting their lifestyle.
I am a writer, educator and genuine creative living on the coast of NC. Our house is built on sunshine with my husband BJ, dog named Tucker, and our two very sassy cats: Fromage and Jasper.